I took Wesley to a playdate last week with a lovely group of moms with little ones right around his age (16 months)... we had a great time, but somehow, inadvertently, we got into an awful session of 'kid-comparing'. You know, when moms sit around and say things like, "Billy isn't walking and talking yet?? Well, Johnny could run 5km and recite the entire alphabet backwards by the time he was 9 months old!" It really is the worst! I came home from the playdate with many motherly worries taking root in my mind and inundated Brian over dinner with my concerns about Wesley's language development, and his ability (or inability) to eat with utensils. Later that night, after a little time, and a healthy dose of perspective, I felt so silly for falling into that trap again. I'd already dealt with the baby comparisons when Wesley was tiny. I'd put a bit of distance between myself and the people who constantly compared my 'not-yet-sleeping-through-the-night' child with their miraculous 'slept-12 hours-straight-at-one-month' baby. And I had to put away the books that told me my child was developmentally behind if he didn't roll over by exactly 16 weeks. All that stuff wasn't healthy, and it took away from the joy of watching my son grow and develop at his own unique pace. Plus, without fail, after I would spend a week stressing about what Wesley wasn't doing - he would master that skill the very next day!
We take for granted that adults are individuals - with their own personailities, and preferences, strengths and weaknesses. We still consider these people "normal". Yet we often hold our kids to a different standard and worry that if they're not just like everyone else they somehow fall out of that normal range. Every precious baby is born with his own individual personality and temperment and will do things at his own pace. General guidelines for what to expect at each stage of development can be helpful - but they can also cause worry when our baby doesn't fit that picture exactly. As I've gotten better at this parenting 'thing' I've come to trust my mother's intuition. I'm the only real expert on my son - I spend the most time with him and know him best. Advice from doctors and books and friends can certainly be helpful and has it's place, but because I know my son and trust my intuition, I know when it's appropriate for him.
I think the baby comparisons are one of those things that every first-time mom has to deal with and I'm slowly but surely learning to take it all with a grain of salt. In that little 21.5 pound body lies limitless potential, boundless energy and heaps of personality. He is fearfully and wonderfully made. And besides... he was walking before all the other babies (!!!).
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