This past year I read the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp (a life-changer!) which is all about gratitude and recognizing the gifts in our lives - even the small, seemingly insignificant ones. Since reading the book I've been counting and recording my gifts and am somewhere up around 600 now. When I look back at 2012, here are just a few of the things/people/events I am grateful for...
1. My little boy will turn 2 on Saturday, so almost exactly one year ago was his first birthday, and that's when this whole "motherhood" thing really seemed to fall into place for me. I had always, always wanted to be a mom and while many things seemed natural to me about it, it was also HARD - by far the toughest job I had ever had. I wasn't quite prepared for the all-consuming baby fog of the first few months, the sleepless nights and endless breastfeeding and diaper changes. I sort of lost myself it in all - forgot about me, the person, the wife, the friend. I was so preoccupied with doing everything right - the schedule, sleep training, feeding him the right foods. And I relied on myself to do it all. But somewhere around a year, I came to the end of what I could do alone and I realized I had to give that all up - not that those things weren't important anymore, but I had to give it all up to God's grace, which is more than enough to cover any 'mistakes' I make on the journey of motherhood. In Him I am enough. He created me for this job. There is such freedom in that... and I've been making a conscious effort each day to walk in that freedom. Since then, things have been just a whole lot easier. So I'm grateful for that.
2. In June my husband and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary and we went away for the weekend, just the two of us, to beautiful Niagara-on-the-Lake. It was out first real trip without Wesley and we sooo needed that time together to reconnect, relax, rejuvenate. It's a lovely memory that I cherish and that I still see fruit from in our relationship now.
3. A very good friend of mine moved to Peterborough at the end of 2011, and I am so thankful for her friendship over this past year. She's a godly and wise woman who I can trust with anything, and who spurs me on and encourages me in the things of God. Plus, she's just really awesome and fun!
4. I've been grateful for early mornings this year - which is something I never thought I'd say! In March I made the switch to doing my 'devotional' time (reading the Word and other edifying books, journalling, prayer) in the morning instead of the evenings before bed. I always hated getting up before I had to, so I always just did the before-bed thing, but I came to find I just wasn't getting as much out of this time with the Lord as I wanted/needed to. So I started setting my alarm for about 45 min before I knew Wesley would be up, making a cup of tea and curling up on the couch with my Bible. My mind was sharper, my body and spirit well-rested, my heart softer. Since becoming pregnant, my morning routine has slipped at times in favour of much-needed rest, but I miss that time so much when I don't do it. I crave those moments of solitude with the Lord before the craziness of the day takes over.
5. The past year with a toddler has been super fun... and exhausting... but mostly, fun! It's been so exciting to watch him grow into this miniature person with a mind of his own and to witness his curiosity and creativity in action. I've found his language development to be the most fascinating thing to witness. Maybe it's the teacher in me but I've loved seeing his vocabulary and understanding grow by the day.
6. And probably most of all, I am abundantly grateful for the little lady who we will get to meet in about 3 months time. The blessing of being pregnant with a second, beautiful, healthy baby... a little girl who has been entrusted to us to love, and nurture, and shepherd. We can't wait to meet her!
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